BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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