Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
