Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
