i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
