I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Randomize