You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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