We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize