What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
