too bad you live with your parents still
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
