awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
