Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
