I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
