dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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