talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
