4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
