my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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