I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize