so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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