theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
