I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize