i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
