My liver just broke up with me...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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