I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
