She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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