so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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