Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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