I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
