I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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