All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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