I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How does one acquire holy water?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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