Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
