Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
