I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
