At least make sure they are 18
Why
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
