question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
