I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do herpes really smell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
