your thong is hanging out like whoa
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
