Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
