I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
