its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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