think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How external is "for external use only"?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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