i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
