I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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