i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
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How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We had sex on a dog bed..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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