Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize