I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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