I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize