I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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