i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am