Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so

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  (845): I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so http://tfl.nu/bpeg
  Replies (29) Good night (625) Bad night (1979)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

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  (917): I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do http://tfl.nu/8eef
  Replies (10) Good night (3275) Bad night (886)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

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  (920): I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too. http://tfl.nu/1n8l
  Replies (13) Good night (931) Bad night (3538)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?

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  (502): Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv? http://tfl.nu/2eve
  Replies (15) Good night (1946) Bad night (726)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

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  (609): How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone? http://tfl.nu/ubfa
  Replies (5) Good night (2739) Bad night (1021)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.

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  (517): Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date. http://tfl.nu/f1nk
  Replies (8) Good night (835) Bad night (5190)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

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  (563): he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes http://tfl.nu/4qyv
  Replies (22) Good night (1349) Bad night (4966)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...

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  (210): Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend... http://tfl.nu/o37o
  Replies (15) Good night (5349) Bad night (951)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.

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  (508): dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM. http://tfl.nu/7fg3
  Replies (5) Good night (2982) Bad night (991)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.

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  (610): You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel. http://tfl.nu/kyxg
  Replies (6) Good night (836) Bad night (2996)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.

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  (917): I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to. http://tfl.nu/px3a
  Replies (6) Good night (1916) Bad night (856)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?

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  (443): At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together? http://tfl.nu/40u8
  Replies (6) Good night (518) Bad night (1897)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420

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  (305): I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420 http://tfl.nu/8erj
  Replies (4) Good night (1280) Bad night (1011)
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  (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

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  (805): We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?" http://tfl.nu/3rqz
  Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (454)
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  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

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  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1185) Bad night (515)

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