Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
