Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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