I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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