Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
