This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
