I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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