Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
