dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize