got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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