I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize