Sry I called you an 8
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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