She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
