YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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