She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
